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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29314209">Sense of Belonging</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dotdotbeepdot/pseuds/Dotdotbeepdot'>Dotdotbeepdot</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sides Prequel Stories [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Sanders Sides (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age is around 13 ish idk, Eating, Fighting, Fluff and Angst, Frenemies, Gen, Identity Issues, Kid Fic, Mostly fluff for once, Pre-Canon, Sides As Family (Sanders Sides), idk what else this is a pretty tame fic, no unsympathetic sides bc they are children and thats not how children work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:08:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,363</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29314209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dotdotbeepdot/pseuds/Dotdotbeepdot</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Anxiety has never felt like he belonged with any of the sides. Patton, Logan, and Roman had each other, Remus and Janus got along just fine without him. He just felt like he was... on his own. Not a Core side, but not like the others.</p><p>What did he need to be to belong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinted Virgil/Roman but only if you want it, None</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sides Prequel Stories [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2074788</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Sense of Belonging</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>August— Anxiety always wondered what life was like in the Core. They all seemed so happy to be there, smiling and laughing with each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, Anxiety only ever knew the life in the Core on movie nights (which was almost every night, they watch a lot of mindless tv). He could hide in the shadows on movie nights and watch them enjoy themselves. He could guess how the trio got along with each other on those nights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Logan and Roman fight a lot. Mostly just playful bickering, but sometimes Logan would take it too seriously and it would get tense. They still clearly liked each other however, Anxiety knows Roman talks about him a lot like they’re best friends. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton and Logan don’t fight, but they do disagree often. Without Janus around, there wasn’t anyone to act as Reason between the two so they often butted heads about what Thomas should do. They both cared so much, it was sweet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were like a family up here. They didn’t hold grudges after fights and they never got violent or hurtful, they apologized and maybe even hugged it out if Patton had any say in it. They were all so happy together. Belonged together. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tiny bit of Anxiety was jealous of how much happier Roman seemed with them than he ever was with his brother and the others, but he just chalked that up as having to deal with the grotesque other twin himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like it better up there?” Anxiety asked Roman one day during one of their fight-dates. Like play-dates, but Roman just taunts and chases him around the Imagination and back downstairs. Roman had chased Anxiety up on a rock where he had yet to figure out how he got up there. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Roman huffed and sheathed his sword— he was hitting the boulder to try and break it or something— looking up at Anxiety like he was stupid. “Up where? Up there?” He pointed at where Anxiety was sitting up on the rock. Anxiety scoffed. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, not up here. You can’t even make it up here,” Anxiety taunted him , but his smile faltered slightly. “I mean… out of the basement. Do you… like it… with Patton and Logan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now it was Roman’s turn to scoff. He looked towards the floor, kicking at the rock slightly. “Well, yeah. Patton and Logan are fun and I get to see and have more influence over Thomas. Anything beats being down there with Team Rocket.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety took a second to figure out which would be which in the situation. When he did, he made a face. “Are you saying I’m Meowth?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sure, whatever,” Roman waved his hand through the air to dismiss him. “You just don’t really scheme like the others do. If it was just you down there, then I </span>
  <em>
    <span>doubt</span>
  </em>
  <span> we would have any problems.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As much as Anxiety agreed, it felt wrong or bad to hear Roman say it. “What about Remus in that scenario. Where would he be?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In a perfect world like that, he wouldn’t exist,” Roman grew quiet, leaning against the rock. He let Anxiety sit with his words for a few more moments before changing the subject. “Why do you ask?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“About me living with Patton and Logan?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, just…” Anxiety tried to think of a better answer than he was jealous that Roman got to escape and he was once again left behind with the untouchables. “Just curious. You know I never really lived with them before, only recently started living with others around. I just wanted to know if it was different.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Much</span>
  </em>
  <span> different,” Roman stressed. Anxiety shifted onto his back and stared up at the forever-blue sky of the Imagination. “For one, I’m not afraid to go asleep at night and wake up to Remus trying to murder me. Two, I get to eat food that isn’t half frozen or cheap. That’s not good enough for royalty. And three— this one is my favorite— no one is a freak.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you wouldn’t be that bad if you tried covering up those bags under your eyes.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I put this on myself. It’s makeup.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Somehow that’s worse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety grabbed a small stone and dropped it over the edge, stifling a laugh when Roman let out a shout. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Are things getting too much for you in the circus, Freakshow?” Anxiety rolled his eyes, but turned to face the top of Roman’s head, lying on his stomach now. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess,” Roman looked up and he didn’t know if he was just hoping or seeing things, but he almost looked concerned. “Remus is getting worse. It’s like every day Thomas grows up, Remus’ outlook on life gets worse and worse. Deceit won’t stop lying, sometimes just useless lies that don’t even make sense. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And he’s becoming so selfish,” Anxiety found himself unable to stop once he’s started to vent. “I don’t know what changed, but he used to be so nice to me and Remus, and now that he’s messed up his face and finally accepted himself as no longer Reason, he just turned into a careless d-bag. It’s like… he let’s Remus walk all over everyone and he almost </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>takes my side on things or stands up for me anymore. Remus </span>
  <em>
    <span>always </span>
  </em>
  <span>comes first down there, if not him, than Deceit. I’m so </span>
  <em>
    <span>sick </span>
  </em>
  <span>of living with them.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span> you live with them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety blinked. Focusing back on Roman, he saw the other staring up at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why don’t you just leave like I did?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety scoffed. “First off, you didn’t leave, Deceit said you were too good for us and dropped you off with Patton,” he threw his arm out as a segway into his next point. “And second off… where would I go? Are you inviting me to live with </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“No!”</span>
  </em>
  <span> Roman said that a little too fast and it kinda hurt, just a little.  He stumbled on his next words to try and cover up what he said. “No, no, like… you can wedge your way into all sorts of parts of the mind-palace. You didn’t live with anyone before… you-know-what… happened, so what’s keeping you there?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety was quiet, thinking about what Roman had said. He was right. Janus couldn’t hold him back— and barely tried anyways— and Patton and Logan had long since gotten used to him popping up since Thomas had graduated into junior high. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could just… leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But what about them?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What about them?” Roman said. “What do you owe them? They housed you, yeah, but they don’t care for you. Deceit is selfish and Remus is reckless. They aren’t good for you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety smiled despite the conversation they were having, turning his head away. “Aren’t good for me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I mean— you— I mean you’re Anxiety!” He coughed awkwardly. Anxiety tried to wipe away his smile with his hand, settling for biting his lip when that didn’t work. “Recklessness and selfishness aren’t what you should be around. You don’t belong with us, obviously, you’re too…” There was a pause in which Anxiety assumed he was waving his hands around like he always does when thinking. “Scary. You just don’t fit.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety felt his hopes die at his words, stifling his smile becoming a lot easier. Of course… he didn’t know what he expected from the cruel prince. Pushing himself off his stomach, he appeared back on the ground. He glared at Roman, not meeting his eye, and stuffed his hands in his pockets. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So I don’t fit in with the others and I don’t fit in with you guys?” Anxiety accused. Roman pushed himself up and tried to save himself once again, but Anxiety wasn’t letting him dig himself out of this one. “The Core sides aren’t much better, you know. What, with them kicking out everyone that wasn’t good enough for them. Kicking out </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>when you weren’t good enough. And then turn around and accept only </span>
  <em>
    <span>you </span>
  </em>
  <span>back in when they decided you were worth something to Thomas and we still weren’t. I might not belong with the others, but I rather be with them than be judged </span>
  <em>
    <span>constantly </span>
  </em>
  <span>by you guys on if I’m worth the trouble or not.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety sunk out fast. He came back to the basement and quickly made way to his room. He didn’t think about Janus sitting in the living room when he appeared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“August? August, where are you going?” Janus called out to him before he could disappear into the halls. He didn’t think he wanted to hear what Janus had to say, but listened anyways. “You seem cheerful. Just come back from dancing in the gardens with that Prince, hm?”</span>
</p><p><span>Anxiety felt himself boil over from the comment. Of course, </span><em><span>of course,</span></em><span> Janus was just gonna make a </span><em><span>stupid</span></em> <em><span>sarcastic comment</span></em><span> instead of asking what was wrong. Without slowing down, he turned back on his heel and walked back into the room, storming up to Janus on the couch and standing over him. Janus just raised his eyebrow in indifference and that only caused Anxiety more anger. </span></p><p>
  <span>“Not August. Anxiety,” he hissed out. “And me and Princey are </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> friends, so stay out of my business! Not even like you care what happens with him everyday! All you care about is yourself and your stupid pride! Would you get over yourself for one day!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t stay long enough after to catch Janus’ reaction. Heading back in the direction of his room, faster than before to avoid the soft, quick steps behind him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Anxiety, that is—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Leave me alone, </span>
  <em>
    <span>snake!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety slammed the door on Janus and stopped, trying to gain control of his breathing again. He moved on autopilot, pacing a circle in the middle of his floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>His room is the last place he wanted to be right now. Despite the space it gave him away from the others that he normally cherished, he didn’t want to be alone at the moment. Being alone just made him think about what Roman said and how he’s always going to be alone because he just doesn’t belong anywhere with anyone. And he couldn’t go back out there and go crying back to Janus just so he could lie to him with fake reassurance. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety was so tired of Janus. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He needed someone else. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without thinking, he moved from his room to the upstairs. In the Core part of the Mind-palace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety stopped hard once he realized what he did. He chewed and ripped at any tiny scrap of nail he still had left on his hands as he bounced on his feet in the doorway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a terrible, horribly bad idea. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What if they turned him away? What if they sneered at him and whispered about him being here? What if they freak out about him being here and kicked him back to the basement? What if they started throwing things at him and yelling and Anxiety gets so scared that he has a panic attack in front of them and they keep yelling at him and Janus isn’t there to comfort or save—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, hiya kiddo! Didn’t see ya there!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety flinched, taking a sharp breath when he realized he stopped breathing and focused on what was happening. Patton was looking at him, and Logan and Roman have noticed him too. They were getting ready for dinner. He had almost forgotten they have dinner together every night. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.” He mumbled out in one big rush and quickly turned to leave. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wait!” Patton shouted, putting down his plates, keeping one arm up to stop him from leaving. “I didn’t mean to scare you, Anxiety. What are you doing up here, kiddo?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety hesitated before slowly turning back around. He swallowed, refusing to look up from his anxious bouncing feet. This was a terrible idea, why did he even try this? He should’ve just stayed in his room or bothered Janus until he decided to pay attention to him. Oh gosh, they were all looking at him and waiting for an answer. He needed to say something, come on Anxiety, say something!</span>
</p><p><span>“Can I eat with you?”</span> <span>He in one breath, before dread quickly sank in his stomach. </span></p><p>
  <span>Wrong thing to say, wrong thing to say!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, well,” Patton looked at the other two, hand slowly retreating to his chest. “W-well, is there a reason why you can’t eat with the others?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety swallowed again. His throat was so dry. “No, not… not really, but…” Oh Gosh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>what was he doing!?</span>
  </em>
  <span> “No, forget it. I’m sorry for… interrupting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It was unexpected, but alright,” Logan nodded towards him. He gestured to the seat beside him, across the table from Roman. “Sit. Why don’t you want to eat with your friends?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“They aren’t my friends,” Anxiety took small steps towards the chair. He didn’t sit down yet when he got to it, just stood behind it awkwardly. His words were quiet and mumbled. “And Remus always likes to mess with the food. I don’t feel like fighting with him about it tonight.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gosh, that must be hard to deal with,” Patton laughed nervously, continuing to hand out food. It was an unspoken rule to never bring up Remus between the three of them, but they did ask, so Anxiety thought it was okay to tell. Now, he isn’t so sure. Patton places a plate of food in front of Anxiety’s chair and, lastly, in front of his chair. “Why don’t you sit down and stay awhile?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Really?” Both Anxiety and Roman asked in barely concealed surprise. They shared a look, but quickly looked away. Anxiety was still mad at him, and it’s not like Roman was all that keen about him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course! Wouldn’t eat in front of a guest and not offer them some, that’s just plain rude!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not at all a little bit suspicious of him, Papa Bear?” Roman turned to the Moral side and gestured around with his fork. “I mean, for all we know he could be a spy for Deceit trying to find out our weaknesses or hiding a little vial of poison in that giant hoodie of his from Remus to put into our food.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Roman, that’s ridiculous,” Logan spoke in his defense before Anxiety even could. He looked at him in surprise. “Anxiety isn’t the type of side to agree to either of those situations. He would be too scared of getting caught.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Harsh, but true.” Anxiety said, still a little starstruck that Logan, without a thought, defended him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s good enough for me! Eat up, kiddo!” Patton sat down in front of his chair across from Logan and raised his eyebrows expectedly at him. “And maybe if Logan sees you enjoying the food so much and being so grateful to eat it, he’ll actually try some.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last part was very pointedly at the Logical side who narrowed his eyes, not moving to pick up his fork. “You can’t possibly think that will work, Patton.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety smirked. “Oh, I think it’ll work,” he sat down in his chair and picked up a fork, stabbing into a cheesy broccoli stem and stuffing it in his mouth. He was pleasantly surprised, however, at how good it actually tasted. He didn’t even have to exaggerate his next words. “Wow, this… is actually really good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton beamed and turned to Logan with his chin proudly raised, giggling through his own mouthful of food. Logan rolled his eyes and stared down at the plate, crossing one arm over the other. When he still didn’t move to eat, Roman sighed dramatically and dropped his arms to the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s your deal with eating, four eyes? You’re always the one begging Thomas to eat all those healthy snacks that his parents make and yet you won’t even touch anything that isn’t plain salted crackers.” Logan shifted his glare from the offending food to the Prince. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t have a ‘deal’ with eating, I just find it frivolous to eat when my body isn’t even real, and therefore, does not need substance like food in it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but eating gives us more energy like sleeping does and helps us work better,” Anxiety said absentmindedly, busy watching his hands to make sure he doesn’t slip and cut a finger off when sawing into his chicken. “Sometimes Remus doesn’t want to eat and it makes him really slow and sick. That’s why he has to mess with his food. Really, we can’t die without it, but it does help us a lot.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stuffed the cut out piece into his mouth and stopped. They were staring at him. He was now uncomfortably aware of everything going on with him at that very second. Anxiety shifted and covered his mouth while he chewed. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all looked away and Logan grabbed his fork, straightening up— almost like he was preparing himself— and took a very fast bit of broccoli into his mouth. He tried not to make a face while chewing, but Roman saw him and laughed, covering his mouth as he was drinking when he did and almost spit it out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“See! It worked!” Patton cheered, putting down his cutlery to clap happily at his successful plan. Logan’s glare hardened as he choked down the mouthful. Once he ate an adequate amount of food as fast as he possibly could— still not a lot, but clearly enough for Patton— he stood up from his chair and dumped the rest in the trash. After, he started cleaning the dishes. Patton still smiled. “I’m proud of you, mister! Maybe Anxiety can get you to eat tomorrow too!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety started, almost choking on his water just like Roman had. He put down his drink and coughed, pounding lightly on his chest. “Huh? What was that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton blinked. “Oh, sorry. I should’ve asked if you wanted to come over tomorrow night too. I just don’t like the thought of you having to eat whatever concoction they’re making down there every day. And if you can make Logan eat, well I’m not letting you get away, haha! That— that is if you want to?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Anxiety just stared. He didn’t think this was how his day was going to end. Heck, he couldn’t even predict that he would even </span>
  <em>
    <span>think</span>
  </em>
  <span> about coming over for dinner</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Yet here he was, eating dinner with the Core sides and being invited to do it again the very next day. He just figured he would be sitting in his room for the rest of the night and probably skipping dinner with the others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked over at Roman, remembering what he said about Anxiety not having a chance at belonging with them. He had believed him. Really, how could he not? They had pushed him away not once, but </span>
  <em>
    <span>twice </span>
  </em>
  <span>before in his very short life as a side. But here, talking with them and actually being included in their lives, he couldn’t help but feel like Roman was wrong. That they both were. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt at home here. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” he said finally after what was probably too long of a moment. He looked back down at his food, clearing his throat and cutting another piece off the chicken. “Yeah, no problem.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Patton cheered and clapped again. Bouncing to his feet, he gathered up his empty plate and any other empty dishes and headed towards the kitchen to where Logan was. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, then tomorrow I’m making something special! Say, Anxiety, how do you feel about </span>
  <em>
    <span>breakfast </span>
  </em>
  <span>for dinner, Aye? Sounds pretty</span>
  <em>
    <span> egg-</span>
  </em>
  <span>stravagant, huh guys?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They all groaned at the terrible pun. Anxiety could only duck his head and smile, hiding it by taking another bite of his food. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t show up tomorrow if you are making eggs just to make puns, Patton. Patton, Patton, are you listening to me? I’ll do it.” Logan threatened, which startled a short laugh out of Anxiety. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come on teach, why don’t you just </span>
  <em>
    <span>egg-</span>
  </em>
  <span>cept… what’s coming? Aye?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will walk out of here right now, Roman. I do not care if I will make a scene in front of Anxiety, I will leave.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This isn't a fic about Virgil leaving just yet, but this little thing is what started Virgil's rebellion from Janus and Remus just before he leaves. Ofc he's not friends with the Core sides just yet, that obviously doesn't really happen until the canon series, but he's being included now.</p><p>Also can we get a round of applause for my first fic without Remus in it?? Never thought that would happen lmao.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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